Listen to your heart, see where it takes you
by JoySingWritePoemeLive
Summary: Sam stood for a choice between Jack and Pete, while she's making this decision, unsure thoughts and feelings make it only harder for her. Well, i told you what's going on. just read. Hope you'll like it!


It was 2 am, the stars were revealed by the clear sky. Probably some stars she once visited. She couldn't sleep. It was exactly one week further, when she saw the other woman walking out of jacks' office. She felt lost, though she was with Pete. Yea… sure. But somehow she felt that something was wrong. A feeling that told her that it shouldn't be that woman walking out of his office. But it should be her walking into his office, and give him a hug. Both deserved that chance. Now she was alone… yesterday she told Pete she needed some time for herself. It was only three weeks ago when he asked her to marry him. She told him she had to think about him. Like second thoughts but then for a proposal. During this week, she felt her old feelings for Jack coming back but much stronger. Yesterday the other woman was again at SGC, now they were in the mess hall. Together they were laughing and smiling at each other. God! She used to be that woman sitting opposite of him. He would be sarcastic… again. And she would be laughing. Now it's another woman. She actually came for her rest, but this wasn't actually calming her down. It made her angry and restless. She decided to eat the food in her lab. When she half rotated she saw her looking at her. Totally pissed actually. She must have felt the gaze of her. She looked angry back at her and turned around. In her lab, she freaked out, it was all too much. She actually kicked her paperwork, files and rapports on the ground. She placed her plate onto her desk and just left it there. She didn't touched it for quite a time. Ten minutes… fifteen minutes… coz in meanwhile she was looking for some calm-down pills. All her anger and frustration, feelings, hurts, thoughts and loss made it all to much. She didn't spoke to Daniel or Teal'c. She's been avoiding Jack for some time now. Nobody probably seen her left the base. She couldn't hold it in her lab, as she didn't want to be seen on the cameras in her lab. They plugged them there to watch her that she doesn't overwork herself, like she normally does. But it seems like she can't even concentrate on her work for about 5 minutes. Usually she got dragged along with it. But now… god she was a total mess, and she knew.

Now she was sitting against the wall of her bedroom. Dripping tears on her pale sweaty face. It was totally over between Jack and Sam. Why else would he date that other woman. What was he called… Kelly… kea… oh wait. Kerry, yes Kerry whatever. Now she knew she wasn't over Jack at all. She's been dreaming and thinking about him for the last two and a half weeks. It was all too much. How pathetic could she be? How could she let it go this far? Never mention the friendship Jack and her had been building on for the last half year. He probably doesn't even think about her now. She knew the thing between Pete and her, whatever it was, has to and. She can't deal with it anymore. She had to tell Jack she can't move on… without him. It hurts to see him with somebody else, especially if it isn't her. She's gonna call Pete to come over and she will stop this stupid thing she's been dragged along with right now! Marc will be mad, well she doesn't care at all. All she wants is to be with Jack. She will continue tomorrow by visiting the SGC again. And go straight in his office. She doesn't care how she'll be acting. She just can't deal with it again. It crushes her. She already feels crushed, seeing him with that Kerry whatever. She was going to end this total mess right now! Today!

At 7 am she already was at the SGC. She wanted to feel comfy in her way by telling him. She wanted to feel calm and regain her strengths by telling him. She wasn't certain she could hold herself, but as well she could help prevent it. She wasn't going to cry in front of him, no she won't. She isn't that weak… is she? No she's not! She always restrained her strengths at the most unusual moments of her life. Where normal women would've been crying their heart out. She's not weak. She knew that damn well. Here she was in her lab again. She already threw her plate of yesterday in the trash. Luckily it didn't smelled that awful. And she eventually had some perfume with her. A scent of vanilla aroma. It was sweet and wasn't, and it was quite relaxed.

After several times trying to relax in her surroundings she collected all her strengths that she had in her. She took several deep breaths. Why does totally freaked out of the thoughts talking to him, telling him what's hurting her. Oh she knew. She was afraid that he didn't felt the same anymore. And would write all this down on her rapport, or locate her somewhere else. Or at least hurt her more than she already is. And refuse to talk to her, ignore her. Shout to her, what crazy fool she might be. How disrespectful she behaves. Yea… those thoughts she was afraid of. Maybe her doing only made their relationship worse. But she knew she had to tell him, it hurts so damn much.

Finally she broke her discomfort and just went for it. 5 minutes later she stood in front of his office. The briefing was empty, and it was very early. She felt her heart rise up to 500 or more. She knew he was in there, because he was on the phone. She just heard the cling when he was done. He hadn't seen her walking in, she rather ran so he didn't see her. Now this was the fatal moment. To release her hurt and thoughts and just tell him. Suddenly she felt that this was all wrong… again. She felt a teardrop on her cheek and wanted to turn away. Suddenly the door opened and he was standing in front of her. She react shocked and backed a bit. He shocked as well, and looked at her questionably.

'Carter! What are you doing here…? Briefing's about two hours'. He said to her while hanging his hands limb beside him.

'Well sir I know, but I wanted to talk to you. You know i… i ohm…' she started to feel sorry that she came.

'Well… come in we probably get in my office. Coz, standing kills my knees you know.' She said while already walking in his office. She just nodded and followed him in. and closed the door. This was it, she's going to tell him. This can be or the big mistake of her life, or the start of a new one.

Jack already made it to his desk and already sat down. He was looking at her and knew she was thinking again. Deep in her thoughts again. So he made a simple noise about the thing she wanted to discuss with him about, and to make sure she's aware of her gaze at the wall.

'Carter, y'okay?' he asked her. With an unsure look on his face. Just snap out of it! Damn Sam just tell him. You can do this, just tell him!

'Well, I'm not sir. That's what I wanted to talk with you about. I… well…' she began when she finally sat down. ' If you at least let me, sir. Freely please.' She looked at him but not quite in his eyes. She would become weak and she didn't want that.

'Alright, permission to talk freely Carter' he told her. She must have had something bothering her. I was told from Daniel she didn't spoke to him or Teal'c.

'I just… Pete asked me to marry him… ' she began but was soon interrupted by him.

'Well that's great news!' he told her. He used his enthusiastic tone. She couldn't really tell if he meant it or not.

'Well… first I would agree with you, sir. But I don't think I can say that now… you see I told him I had to think about it. And well it's been three weeks now… and I think I'm making a big mistake… you know… all I'm thinking is why should I marry him? I know who he is and what he'll give me… but it still feels wrong.' She told him.

'Well, people call that second thoughts Carter. You see, you think that you'll don't have enough to give him. Nor you think he'll give you…' Before jack could continue she interrupted him.

'I know what second thoughts are sir! And no they're not. I'm making a huge mistake sir! All I knew is that Pete made me happy, he loved me, still does. But I think it's quite a bit of time that passed when a guy was with me, and feels attracted to me. And I think I was just this enthusiasm that I got attention from someone, that I was blinded of what I really wanted. And no I wasn't blind because of the love. I just love it that I got attention of him. He wanted to be around me, be with me, and know me. Now he does. And as I do know him, he's a good man. I know, but still he's not enough. The thing is… I don't want to marry him.' She told him. She knew he would be confused.

Now he was confused why just not telling him so easy. It took him a big capacity to even think straight on what she was telling him. 'Well… what's the problem then?' he asked her.

'You! All there is on my mind is you! In my dreams and thoughts, that's why I think this is a huge mistake. The thing is I don't feel the same way as Pete does feel with me, all I feel is guilt. That this would be the biggest mistake of my life to marry him. The start of a new life, with a different direction in it. It took me guts of pride and all my strengths to even tell you this!' When she finished he just sat there speechless.

'So you say it's my fault you can't marry Pete?' Jack was quite annoyed. Was she blaming it all to me?

'No I'm blaming myself that every time I try to move on, like you'd said me to do. My heart says that I'm doing wrong. And I blame myself that I'm so in love with you and there's no way back out. Coz, all I can do is think about you. And seeing you with that other woman, just made me crush and lose myself more than I ever did in my entire life. And every time she laughs on opposite of you… I just wished I was her. Coz, these feelings are killing me! Bit by bit and it won't stop. At night I cry myself to sleep. But as soon as I sleep, I wake up. Frightened, hurt, lost, crying and feeling myself weak, miserable and stupid. For two and a half weeks I found myself crying in the corner of my room. I can't even work for about 5 minutes. I ignored everyone. Tonight I broke up with Pete. I told him I can't marry him. He'd accepted it, and just said goodbye. Even though it was hard on his heart… I just wished and want to know that… this between us… is there still a chance I can be with you… once and for all! Coz, if I don't know now I'm making myself crazy and lost. And… I just have to know myself… do you still love me… Jack?' she said desperate. She just told him everything she felt. Opened her heart to him.

Jack couldn't manage to take a comfortable position in his chair. He felt lost. He didn't know dating Kerry would affect THIS to Sam. 'I… Sam… I'm sorry if I'd hurt you. I'm so sorry. But you know… this is just… I didn't know you were hurt. I really didn't. I knew something was bothering you, but I thought it would be better for you to deal with it yourself, to be alone for a while. But if I knew it was all about this… I wouldn't have waited a second longer to tell you this…' He took a deep breath, he was you know out of his own breathe. 'I just broke up with Kerry… Coz, I felt the same thing, but I didn't knew you did to… Sam I love you more than I've ever loved someone in my entire life. When you dated Pete, you had me going crazy. And I didn't blame you coz, I thought you were happy. And I wanted you to be. But there is nothing more I would love to do than be with you, just only you and I will always do! Forever.' He stood up and walked towards her. She instantly stood up and watched him coming towards her. Than he took her hand, and she was just speechless. 'I will always love you, you will always be mine, my angel, my savoir and my treasure and oxygen to carry on in life. And I love you just the way you are. More than I'll ever do with someone else. Sam you are my heart, and I'll show it to you!' He stood still with his hands around hers. She just could only look in his eyes and she knew he was telling her the truth. He went on one knee and didn't broke eye contact.

He turned slightly and revealed a black tiny box. He looked in her eyes and saw a shock. But quite relieved, not to be scared for a reason. Then he opened it and a diamond ring was in it. Then after that she just snapped. It was all she ever dreamed of. Then she couldn't hold it she felt tears on her cheeks. She was holding her sobs. She wanted this moment to be remembered as a happy thought. Not where she totally collapsed by her buckled knees and cries her heart out when he proposed, not like that. He looked at her with passion, love and truth. This was it, a new life. The life I always wanted, be with Jack. Then he took a deep breath.

'Samantha Carter you are the woman I want to be with my entire life. I want to share whole my life with you. I want to cherish, love, care and hold you forever. I don't want a single moment without you next to me. There's always been you and no one else. So beautiful, amazing, smart and incredible gorgeous Samantha Carter would you honor me to be my wife and marry me?' He let out a sigh of "Out of breathe" but he still didn't let go of eye contact. So now he was staring at her while she had tears on her cheeks. She didn't doubt for a moment and just shouted it out. 'Yes! I would love to marry you Jack O'Neill, always! Yes!' then as quick as he could, he stood up and pushed the ring around her finger and kissed her with all passion. She deepened the kiss, both dueling for power. A passion love battle.

On the side of the cameras the marines saw what was happening. They turned on the main button, to send the view on the screen to the other computers and televisions all around the base. Daniel and Teal'c were talking with George Hammond. He came to visit them, and wanted to talk about the things that he'd missed. Suddenly when the screen went on, the friends could see what was happening in General Jack O'Neill's office. They were shocked but also very happy for them both. They didn't know what was bothering Sam as Daniel told George. But as soon as they saw what was happening on the screen. It was pretty obvious what could cause the problem for Sam it would be fixed by now. Daniel, Teal'c and George just looked at each other. And there was no care to explain, they all knew this was right. So they quickly walked through the halls and went straight to jack's office. As they were walking they heard marines talking about "You owe me 50 bucks" discussions. All were laughing and happy. As they stood in front of his office, Daniel took a glance at the window that showed the inside of Jacks office. They were still at the place where they stood on the screen. Daniel laughed and walked in at first than Teal'c and George. Daniel made a pretty loud entrance.

'You know Jack, I should inform you that the new cameras have pretty good quality. It reminds me to say that we just saw the whole scene, you should send more of them!' He said grinning widely. Than Teal'c started also.

'I agree with DanielJackson' Teal'c said proudly. And just gestured to George he should say at least something. He was speechless, that was why Daniel laughed. He laughed at George, before he went in.

'I actually came to look if everything went good, I guess I should probably ask the airmen to inform me of the fact that two friends are making out in a lab. Where they kiss very clearly in the middle of our presence. This would make it a lot comfortable, before I go pretty speechless. I do know now everything is going to be okay now, a matter a fact, you all do it perfect.' As George stopped jack and Sam were hugging and didn't felt uncomfortable. Nothing felt wrong. They loved their friend, they were practically family, well they are a family. After the hug they looked at each other and stared in their eyes. They both knew that it was a good decision. It felt so right. And so like it's been always like this.

'George, it's good to see you too!' Sam came walking to George and hugged him. She gave him a kiss on his cheek. George has been like a second father to Sam and always regarded over her. She was thankful he'd helped her in situations where she felt lost. And when her father died a while ago, she saw George as a second father. And George felt like she was a daughter to him. George and Jacob always have been good friends. And knew Sam when she was a little girl. So he held her close and kissed her forehead. He was happy for her, she'd lost so much that she deserves this. More than anyone else.

'George… how nice form you to hop in! you' all hungry? … I was just going to ask Sam if she wants to join me at 'With Grandma's breakfast' the food is nice and it's perfect for breakfast. Would you like to join us?' Jack said while looking at them all. While he held on Sam's hand.

'Sure Jack, I'd love to… I'm starving!' George shouted out loud! He's been so enthusiast and happy for them, the thrill to shout got him excited.

'I will join you, O'Neill' Teal'c said also. 'Sure Jack… I'm hungry let's go!' Daniel said and walked out with Teal'c and George already heading out. Sam wanted to walk just behind Daniel when she felt a hand in hers and dragged her back rearwards. She felt jacks chest as the hit caused to let her sigh. 'Oomph' she said. Then she suddenly relaxed when he captured her lips once again. He deepened the kiss again and murmured while kissing her. 'Not so fast, we weren't done yet' Jack said. And then he felt her smile against his lips. She giggled a bit, but as he cupped her cheek she stopped and just relaxed by his touch. Daniel heard the sound and quickly turned around. As he saw what was happening he just rolled his eyes. 'Oww! Get a room!' He said towards them. Than Teal'c and George turned around and saw them both. Than they just turned around again and went up already. They would wait upside on the rest of them.

'We'll do that later Danny boy. I just wasn't finished. You cut me off you know.' He said smiling to him. Daniel again rolled his eyes and turned around and walked further. Jack just walked one step further and turned around to look at Sam. 'You know… we could just leave them to have breakfast with themselves, and make our own little time' He suggested her teasingly. 'Let's just head up to the rest, you know how longer it'll last how better it'll be. We already waited years. Another hour wouldn't harm us.' She walked up and didn't hear footsteps behind her so she turned around only to see him staring at her. She smiled 'Come on, flyboy!' she said to him. With that, he stopped staring and ran towards her and tugged her into his arms. And carried her out of the base. Both were laughing and sometimes kissing. Just to tease each other and cherish the moments. Officers were whistling and laughing. Yea… it was defiantly a happy new life, Sam thought. Even better it was her life.

9 months later Sam give birth to a baby girl and boy. Named Declan and Grace O'Neill. They were one happy family. Something better Sam couldn't wish herself more.

THE END!

I hoped you liked it! Please comment it. It's hopefully better than the previous ones.


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